hello friends! yes, i know, it's been too long. but i recently wrote a couple of poems and would like to post them somewhere. so here they go. i hope that you are all well. i'm learning a lot. God is very faithful and He's for me and wants me to grow. i hope that i can trust him enough to let Him work his will in me (in spite of my fears and my pride). for more on that, shoot me an email! but for now, some poems for your enjoyment (and feedback).
dear words
dear words.
i forgot how much i love you. you see
i'm so used to you taking the form of things tat overwhelm me and attempt to drown me.
my thoughts come in words - too many for me to handle, too much for me to process.
so i sleep
and play games
in hopes that they will run their course and run out of room on the page of my mind
but they never seem to use up all the canvas.
in the form of words, thoughts inform my emotions
emotions transform my thoughts
and now there are more words, more things that i don't understand that sit over in my mind.
it's too much.
dear words.
i forgot how much i love you. you see
i'm so used to you taking the form of self-condemning sounds and syllables that hammer away at my fragile self.
soft and affected. should i become hard against words that are voiced in my own voice against me?
nothing makes them go away.
it's as if i'm tortured by you.
by me.
by you.
dear words.
i forgot how much i love you. you see
because there's never enough time to express and get you out. there is only a small hole
like a sewing needle poked in a bottle filled with gallons and gallons of watery words that can only come out this tiny pen point.
there are too many.
and i am too harassed
by what i thought i loved.
what i do...love.
dear words.
i forgot how much i love you. you see
because i remember the way you allowed yourself to be manipulated by hurt and pain and used on me.
how you gave yourself to others so willingly to be thrown back at me
with meaningless "how are you"s and shallow statements about my earrings, when you had the power -
have the power
to pierce my heart.
dear words.
i forgot how much i loved you.
i forgot how much i love you still, you see,
because you have the ability to get me out of the bottle. out of the shallow
and in to the deep waters of a page.
you give me an out.
the way they come in is how i can release them. you are my friend too
available for my use
to combat the enemy words with my dear, dear words.
so with you, dear words, i must choose to express.
i must choose to fight those not-so-dear
words.
